High-school proms are expensive. Whatever the level of extravagance, the amount spent on prom can add up quickly. In addition to the traditional expenses: prom dress and tuxedo, tickets and pictures, there can be stretch limos, expensive meals, flowers, up-dos, manicures, even spa visits and makeup artists. The price tag starts at several hundred and can go over a thousand dollars or more.
For parents, however, the primary prom-related concerns aren't financial. According to social worker Carleton Kendrick, the " biggest prom worries are the risky behaviors associated with proms, most specifically driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs" among other things. "It's become the night where teens' poor judgment and dangerous choices have become institutionalized."
Kendrick lists the following safety tips for parents to share with their children:
Discuss -- Tell your children that you want them to have a memorable prom and keep that thought as a central focus. Explain that you must have their complete itinerary for the evening, including whom they will be with, where they'll be going after the prom and the phone numbers where you can contact them. Come to a fair decision on a curfew, based upon your children's past level of responsibility in this area. Discuss all concerns about their health and safety and explain to them why prom night makes it more difficult to make safe and smart decisions. Don't be vague -- discuss drinking, drugging, driving under the influence, and sex. Ask them how they plan to keep safe and avoid actions they will regret. Reinforce your belief in their character and in their ability to act responsibly.
Drive -- If your child isn't driving, you must know who'll be driving them. Make sure they are aware that prom night increases the risk of all he dangers of driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs. They must agree to not be driven by anyone who has drunk alcohol or taken drugs. You need their promise on these rules. These rules are non-negotiable.
Connect -- If your children are not returning home right after the prom, you need to be able to contact them at all times until they return home.
You also need to be reachable at all times as well. If they're going to friends' houses after the prom, check ahead of time with these children's parents. You also have a right and a responsibility to ask if these parents are going to allow drinking in their homes. Some parents believe that as long as they "take keys" in a situation like this that underage drinking is permissible in their houses. You must answer the question, "Do I want my kids at after-prom parties where parents aren't present?" After the prom, it makes sense to check in with your children. Setting mandatory call-in times, making sure they have a cell phone and establish a guaranteed connection.
The Offer -- Give your children the unconditional option of calling you at any time for help or advice. This should include picking them up at any time, anywhere, and with a promise not to shame or humiliate them in front of others. Assure your children that you always welcome being part of their making smart and safe decisions. This unconditional offer of help and advice should be an outstanding offer throughout their lives.
Other tips:
- Work with the school to have food served during the prom.
- Know all of the "hot spot" destinations.
- Take stock of the alcohol in your home.
- If there is a limo, check their policy on allowing alcohol in the vehicle.
- Discuss the school's prom rules with your child and the consequences of violating them.
- Encourage seatbelt use -- the best accessory!
- Do not rent hotel rooms for prom-goers.
- Communicate with other parents and school officials.
- Stay up until after your children return home.
