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Senior Forum
Retire Smart
WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT TWO PEAS IN A POD!
By Humberto and Georgina Cruz
Mar 1, 2006, 00:00

This question was addressed to Georgina, so she will answer it:
Q: I must admit I'm bit disappointed with your column. It's not the quality or the pertinence of the observations made or the advice provided. On the contrary. What's missing are sparks. By that I mean you're too much in agreement all the time. This does not reflect, in my view, the reality of most couples.
 
Perhaps you experience some differences of opinion and resolve them before writing your column. Do you, perhaps, concede to your husband on some issues because of his experience and judgment acquired through his contact with financial pundits? Or, God forbid, is he twisting your arm? (I'm kidding, of course). Nevertheless, at least for me, a good difference of opinion might provide a little more information.

A: Humberto and I are by no means two peas in a pod. In many respects, we're very different, proving the saying that opposites attract. I love travel and he does not. He loves baseball; I can do very well without it. He likes music; I prefer movies. He loves chess; I'd rather play Scrabble. I like sitcoms; Humberto likes dramas - I could go on and on.

Through our 32 years together, in the give-and-take of marriage, we've learned that we can share our interests and enrich ourselves that much more: Humberto has found that he can enjoy travel; I've discovered I can have a good time at our local minor league baseball games.

Sensitive to each other, however, we try not to push. I left a trip to Antarctica for after we'd been to all the other continents, and scheduled it for when the weather would tend to be most bearable there. Humberto spaces out baseball games.
On many of the most important things in life, including saving for a home, our daughter's education and our nest egg, we've enjoyed remarkable consensus.

Humberto and I discuss our investments before committing to them. Generally, we're in agreement. Once, I disagreed with him. He mulled it over and we did not invest (it turned out later that I was right). He never twists my arm. When it comes to investments, I do let Humberto call most of the shots, just as he lets me call all the shots when it comes to trips
 (I am a travel writer). We realize that the other knows best when it comes to certain topics, but neither one fails to speak up if something being proposed goes against our grain or does not sit well with us.
We know that our greatest strength is that we complement each other: Humberto is an introvert, I am more of an extrovert; he is better dealing with concepts; I am better dealing with objects, and so on; I am more of a dreamer; Humberto is more practical.

Humberto adds this thought:
Georgina is a strong-willed woman who speaks her mind - and she is smart, too. I would be pretty stupid not to listen to her. And besides, who else is always going to have my best interests at heart?

In all our major retirement decisions, from when to leave full-time work to where to move and what house to buy, we have considered - really considered - each other's thoughts and feelings before making the final decision together.

Q: You said you both had completed a designation of health-care surrogate form, naming each other to make medical decisions for the other in the event one of you was unable to do so. That's good, but what happens if you're both seriously injured, such as in an auto accident, or one dies and the other is taken to the hospital?

A: In our previous column, we neglected to mention that each of us also named an alternate health care surrogate to take care of the eventuality you just mentioned. For both of us, this would be our daughter, Veronica.

You can name health care surrogates and alternates by filling out forms available from hospitals or using software programs designed for that purpose. Or you can have a lawyer assist you as part of an estate-planning package.

Once you've done this, make sure to give copies of the documents to all parties involved and also to your doctor or health-care provider. We also each carry a card in our wallets, directing anybody assisting us in an emergency to notify the other, or Veronica.

 © 2006 TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC